There are things in life that just happen. Sometimes I hear people say “maybe it is something I said”, “I’m sorry that I did that”, “maybe I deserve a failure” so “I need to look at everything I did wrong because if I were perfect, I would have a perfect life”. That’s absolutely not true.
The reality about life is that life is tough, life is difficult. Things arise spontaneously and certain things happen to us in life that we didn’t ask for but that’s just a product of life. It is also our greatest opportunity to learn. I am going to encourage you that there is a human nature response that loves to hold ourselves responsible for things that aren’t reasonable to hold ourselves responsible for. Watch out for how your mind works in these situations and you’ll see that there is that tendency to again feel like “yep, once again it was my fault and I deserve these failures” – I can tell you that is garbage. There’s life stuff that just “is”. Certainly, looking for reasons of occurrence can bring some value, but you need to know that this is just the way life is. As much as we have to train ourselves to not buy into accepting blame we also have to train our mind to not believe that and to move on. At higher levels of performance, we will have more blips and circumstances that create a fragility in how we view ourselves the human nature version of us loves to find blame and move us into perfectionism. There is no future in that. When we move our thoughts to our pre-frontal cortex – our more highly evolved sensibility – we will realize that there is stuff in life that we don’t ask for. We can learn from it, but we don’t need to own it. When you start to come from that place and are able to recognize that pattern, then you can break from that place that holds you back from your bigger future.