Honeymoon Over, Proceed Forward

 

I would like to share with you some thoughts I have on this idea of going for big or going for more. There comes a point in our life where maybe what we are doing is becoming a little mundane. Maybe we are getting a little bored of what we are doing. We are still in the game. We are prospering. We are doing well. We are holding our own. There’s no reason to not stay there, but we want to go for more.

One thing I would want to say, and this is born out of a conversation that I had with one of my cornerman coaching clients, it is only appropriate that we are working towards our bigger future while we are currently holding ground where we are. I said that one thing that is absolutely critical is that if we are considering a change here or going for something bigger we need to make sure we strip away any illusion of what that really is. Many people have this idea of what it is. Whether it is greener pasture syndrome or it’s some level of aspirational thinking just to get some relief from where we are. Those are really not good reasons to take a full step into what we are considering. What I was saying to him is that the most critical thing we need to do while going for more, or a significant change, is to live in the space that we are considering moving in to so that we have no illusion about what it is. That demands presence of people. I was suggesting to him to spend time with somebody that is where he wants to be, and that he shadow them for a week or two to get the reality of what it really is. Once you’re with them and shadowing them with their daily life, actually experiencing the full context, not just the glitter or the gold at the end of the rainbow, but the real daily stuff that you have to deal with moment by moment, then it becomes much more real to you. Then I said under no circumstances should you engage anything until the honeymoon has worn off. Meaning that wherever you are, spend time where you are living the experience as much as possible that you aspire to or are considering. Make sure you do it long enough until the euphoria of  its promise wears off and you’re faced with that reality. Because then and only then can we choose a responsible choice for making a decision to pursue or not.

I found that when people do that it gives them a heightened sense of conviction about whether “yes going for it” or “pause is required before going for it” or if it is definitely a “red light-do not do it”. When it’s the right decision with the right pacing and the honeymoon is worn off then we really do have a sobriety of how we look at things. We are not deflected by the illusion of what may be. There’s just no substance whatsoever to this idea of chasing things in the moment with the idea of “if we do not do it now the universe will take it away because we don’t trust it”. Really, the universe honors those who take time, pause, and they ask the right questions. They do the vetting. They actually show what I consider to be the most difficult of all commodities of those who play at a high level, which is restraint. They pause to really do the proper vetting. What that feels like is there is no more illusions. There is no rock that we haven’t necessarily looked at. We don’t need to look underneath every rock, of course not. But we do need to look under enough to feel like the honeymoon has worn of. You know what that’s like. It’s like you buy a new car and at a certain point the new car feels like the normal car that you had previously. It becomes a normal part of your daily life. It doesn’t take forever to get to that place where you have enough information to know that. That’s the place we want to get to when we are considering significant change. Then we find the right pacing and the steps to move forward. We are not conflicted. We can lead with confidence and certainty because we have done our homework, making the test easy.

Keep doing what champions do. Keep your feet on the ground. Head in the clouds. And keep showing up!